funny sms jokes

Titanic was sinking.

An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards !

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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

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How did Santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

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Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

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Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister .”

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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?

Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .

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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!

Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .

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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.

Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?

Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

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Ultimate answer while changing the job.

Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?

Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.

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Santa and Banta went for a drive.

Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?

Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”

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Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…

Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

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Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?

Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.

After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.

Banta, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.

A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, Hi there… what are you doing carrying a glass of water through the desert?

The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that’s why he was carrying the water.

A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. What are you doing? asked the rancher again.

As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that’s why he had the bread.

Finally our Banta appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, Hey, why are you dragging that car door?

Well, he said, I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I’ll roll down the window.
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