funny sms jokes

Man: Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get
myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see
that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you. Only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal
specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only.

Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like
me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man: I sleep vigilantly like a dog thinking about my workload whole
night.
I get up in the morning like a horse
I go to work running like a deer
I work all the day like a donkey
I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.
I wag my tail in front of all my bosses
I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.
I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: Do you work in Gulf?
Man: Yes
Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are working in Gulf……

The New Doctor

A woman went to the doctor’s office. Where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?”

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, “Does she still have the hiccups?

A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!

Operator: Okay, sir, you’re an ambulance!

Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

Doctor: Oh, really?

Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!